2014

I have decided not to continue my Depo Shot.. Because it made me crave food!AND my tummy is getting flabby... But every morning I do sit ups just to make use of the calories.Yes, new year...I have plans..But since my husband isn't here, I have to do on my own..and suport Ryuki well..What disappoints me is that, never been since Ryuki was born,my husband never ever tagged him in the events in his timeline is FB.Even in his New Year greetings, I'm the one who just tagged me and others, but not Ryuki.It came into my mind that maybe he doesn't love Ryuki much as his son, because they don'tsee each other everyday, they don't do much bonding..He doesn't even tell me how much he miss him.. It's kinda- heart broken for me as a mother to my son.But anyway, the night before new year was raining.. It was raining very hard,so few fireworks display didn't happen.My new year's resolution is...To change my hair color.. A bright one! XDlike this one,Stay Positive!Won't bother my husband very much, because I know sometimes he has his friends and his love crushes.To make plans regarding CFO papers,Drink GLutathione supplement cuz my skin color is yellowish ><!Stay pretty, that's the only one for me a self esteemed.

Our Grand Music Recital

It wasn't that stressful actually.

But my brother's laptop didn't work because Ryuki fell the laptop.

Our problem was, how can we take care Ryuki while we do our perspective job, since our neighbor

can't take care of him. I was kinda worried because he might shout or what during the recital.

But thank God *heartily* that he fell asleep until the program ended.

phew, what a relief.. hehehe!!

After the recital, my mom planned that we should visit our grandfather to Antique,

and we did a stressful travel, 

but thank God none of us get sick...

We had our fellowship, and I also learned what my grandpa said, some of his words of wisdom..

and we had our testimony regarding our lives before year 2013 ended.

As we went back home, at the van, I kept on thinking about my son, my husband, my friends, about me..and everything..

Most especially that I really would like to put up a restaurant, like a mini restau ones...

And I prayed that God would help me, and touch my heart not to be lonely or sad anymore.

Skype

Yeah, at last I meet my Aunt via Skype, and she also wanted to see my Son and so she did.

We talked a lot, and showed Ryuki how smart he is...

And also my husband, and my son Chat together.. Hehehe!

they look cute..

I Really Need to Talk to You

It's been years that I'm depressed for some reasons, but not always.

But when the time I am, I really want to talk to someone.. 

Who can keep secret, who can understand me, who can listen up to me,
who can make me feel the assurance..

I tried to pray, and just hoping just in my dreams I can talk to Him.. 

I tried talking to my husband and let my feelings out, but it seems when I try to share
and/or let him know about me, some of my ideas, my feelings,
he seems doesn't understand me wholly.

I cried this night because I felt hopeless of talking to God.
Just in my dreams, I wish.. 
but why..

I need a friend who is always there for me, but no one of em can't.

All I am thinking now is Him. Always been.

I desperately want to talk to Him, just for a minute.

I Get It OKay?

It seems mu husband doesn't really needs me.

Ever since since the day I was pregnant he didn't say or mentioned

that he really needs me..

Because he needs his friends more than me and Ryuki.

It really pissed me off, and I started to untagged myself when he tagg me
some of his posts and photos because, really, i feel like it's invain.

It's like, there is no need pa magpaka plasti pa sa akon...

it's just he doesn't know how much he hurts me very bad.

I Met My Old Friends

Mags and Jean just had a baby girl. And I was invited to their house.

So I saw Reznel, Jerol, Bea and Coi2x others, but they were not complete like Gerald wasn't there.
But I had fun because I miss our bonding especially playing HoN..

I was shocked because Emman's Ex Girlfriend was there, and we made good friends, yet I don't care about their past... And besides she has a husband and a baby girl.

Good thing I have this Friend

Good thing I have this friend named Jean..She also have a baby ,1 month old.We have the same situation but almost.

Good thing that she tells me all of her problems because we have the same situation.I don't share problems to others unless they have been there.

So we talked and talked and I also share my problems to her between me and Daichi.I told him about his attitude and how many time he hurted me and his pride and how I don't want to care anymore because I don't want to get hurt.