Dear diary, Not Everything I want will be mine.

       I woke up, still my feelings are heavy. I felt the same way as yesterday. Maybe my hormones. 


Oh yeah, I hate facebook sometimes. I able to see and read which I don't suppose to. I felt mad, sad and jealous. I read non sense comments on the upper right which it makes me mad and disturbed.

Stupid hormones, but I don't have any reasons to be like that. 


It's just, I think not everything I want, I get. Even though you want it so bad and until, you began to hate it because of the pain you are feeling about it. 


Until that something gave to you, which is like too late for that, you don't want it because of pain.


But you want it, honestly, but you just push it away because you didn't had it in the first place, and that just pisses me off.
OR!! When the time that something came and give it to you, it's the time when it doesn't suits you anymore, like I was being disabled or error - or something. 






And I know how painful it is when you want it, which you are unable to use it because of disability, even though people are pushing me to do it which is already too late and I began to hate it. I don't like it anymore. I want to erase it. *sighs*