I Felt Stupid.. So Wrong

     Yesterday, I was making my latest blog about my bf.. .And I let him read it. And so, he said that he loved it and I was happy because that blog was dedicated to him. But until now I am still writing.




     And until, we reached the topic regarding that blog, that I asked "why did you let yourself hold my hands?" and so-.. .  And he said he had no idea and I laughed.






Then, he mentioned that, that time he had a crush (but it wasn't me). And I said to myself, "oh.. .darn, he had someone in his heart..". But he said that he didn't have a chance with her.
So, I really felt bad about that, and at the same time, I had my first move instead of him. It's kinda wrong that a girl makes the first move right?  How do you feel about that?




How do I FEEL about THAT? 
Well, I felt horrible.. And awful. It was kinda- dumb for me. I felt stupid for that night. And I realize that, I just took over and stepped something which it wasn't my territory or something. 




      I know maybe I'm just over reacting but- as a woman you know.. I hope you understand.. It's like- it would be so wrong if the girl moves the chair so that the guy would sit, so WRONG right? That's just how I feel. 






     I should have asked him if he likes someone else already.. .  I'm disappointed at myself right now. It was a disrespect. I'm such a looser man!..  I felt horrible. I feel stupid!! so stupid.. uuhhg!!